Spring is just around the corner. It's my favorite Season. It lifts my spirits and makes me feel alive again after a long cold Winter. Life in general is just better come Spring time. Windows are opened, clothing is getting lighter, people spend more time outside, the sound of the birds singing again is so sweet.
It also kicks off mass marketing campaigns on many fronts. Gym memberships experience a boost, vacations adverts for sunny destinations flood our email inbox and posters are up in subways and shopping malls.
I don't usually pay all that much attention to television commercials, but Weight Watchers caught my attention the other day. Apparently, they now have 24/7 live chat support. First of all, 24/7? Really? The commercial actually made reference to calling them if someone at the office unexpectedly brings in donuts. I have visions in my head of a woman locking herself in the ladies room, breaking a sweat, cell phone in hand and making that desperate call. I think it would go something like this:
Weight Watchers, what is your emergency?
"HELP ME!!! That jerk boss brought in donuts! He KNOWS I'm on a diet! I don't know what to do. I need help, please!!"
"Ok ma'am, stay calm. What kind of donuts are we talking here?"
"It's a mad cornucopia, I tell you. There's boston cream, jelly donuts, chocolate glaze and..and...I can't believe it....sprinkles! He's such a sick sick man!"
"Ma'am I want you to stay right where you are, I'm dispatching the sugar SWAT team right this instant. Just stay on the phone with me and take deep breaths."
As the dieter stays holed up in the bathroom stall, a team of stealth Weight Watchers leaders clad all in slimming black uniforms come crashing into the boardroom, yelling at everyone to get down on the floor. One chubby accounting clerk freezes in mid-bite as the leader of the Sugar SWAT team yells "DROP THAT DONUT RIGHT NOW!!". The leader gives another member of the SST a nod and she proceeds to throw herself on the box of sweets like its a live grenade.
The board room is covered in oozing custard, jellies and glazes. The CEO nearly lost an eye when a sprinkle ricocheted off the wall and missed him by inches. The human resources staff are hysterical; they have white powder all over their finely starched shirts. One woman is furiously wiping her hands, sobbing "it won't come off, it won't come off!"
Yes sir, who needs super heroes when you can call Weight Watchers. A beautiful thing.
Hi! I'm Chris, an empty nester living in Montreal and making the most of this stage in my life. I love cooking for friends and family, DIY projects, decorating and writing.