So it has finally happened. I have reached that big number. This month marks my 50th birthday. I can hardly believe it. My mother is growing annoyed with me asking her repeatedly if she is sure there's not a mistake on my birth certificate.
I have to admit that the months leading up to it had me feeling a little bit panicky. I felt like I had been robbed while I was not looking. Anyone who knows me well knows that I do not like having choices taken away from me and I usually fight it tooth and nail. There was no fighting this one though. That only amplified the sinking feeling that time was running out.
The day of my birthday was not what one would expect. I chose to spend a quiet day with the woman who brought me into this world. As with most mother and daughter relationships, ours has had it's ups and downs and more often than not I would find myself annoyed at her. There's always that thing that happens where our moms make us feel like little kids and only when we are out of arms length can we go back to feeling like adults again.
This visit was different. I am different. It took a day of solo face time and quiet conversation with my mom to have discreetly stepped over to the "big girl" side of the fence. No bells and whistles, just a quiet welcoming of a new stage in my life.
Now when I think of the number 50, I smile. I am enjoying every minute of it. I'm in love with life and the road that lays ahead. When I was younger, I would often get criticized (usually by a boyfriend) that I was too "hard". It made me feel awful about myself. Today I am able to see that it was not a matter of me being too hard, but of them not knowing how to handle a woman who knows what she wants and stands firm in her convictions. I know exactly who I am and won't be swayed by anyone to be anything other than myself.
I spent the rest of the week celebrating in the company of some of the most amazing, interesting, intelligent, strong, confident, beautiful, loving women. I am so very blessed to have them all in my life. I gained a couple pounds from all the delicious meals we shared together, but it was worth it.
Hi! I'm Chris, an empty nester living in Montreal and making the most of this stage in my life. I love cooking for friends and family, DIY projects, decorating and writing.