I am amazed at how life as I know it can change from one moment to the next. These past couple weeks, two people I love very much are going through some big changes.
Being a nurterer and fixer by nature, it has been hard to stand on the sidelines and just watch as their story unfolds. However, as I am getting hopefully wiser in my years, I have learned that my input is no longer necessary. Not everything is mine to fix.
The bittersweet thing about life is that although we all share a connection in that we are able to relate in some way to things our loved ones are going through, we have to realize that their journey is not ours to live.
It may be hard to believe when it is happening, but allowing someone to go through their growing pains, so to speak, and watching them come out of it and adapt to change and carry on with life is like a gift. Both to you and to them.
As told to me recently by someone wise beyond their years, when you don't allow people to figure things out for themselves, you are sending a message that they are incapable of doing so. Wow. That one hit me right between the eyes. I had never looked at it from that perspective.
We must never be so attached to a situation that when God/universe/karma/whatever decides to shift things around, we become paralizyed by a new and unknown playing field.
Unfortunately, I have seldom practised what I'm preaching. On more than one occasion, when faced with the unknown, I have panicked. Actually, a more apt description would be a nervous internal meltdown. Oh I might have been smiling on the outside, but inside, there was a little voice screaming "I'm scared. What do I do now?".
It was Franklin D. Roosevelt who once said "We have nothing to fear but fear itself". It's true. Our minds can conjure up the worst catastrophes. We are so certain that things will go down as badly as we imagine it, but seldom does it even remotely resemble the boogiemen we've created in our heads.
For years I always brushed off my mother's simple yet wise advice. She has consistently told me "Everything will be ok. You worry too much." She is right. I don't know why I always doubted her when she would say that. Honestly, I viewed it as a weak and over simplified response to whatever fear had a hold over me. Those little old ladies know what they're talking about!
All this to say, that I am slowly realizing that I need to go with the flow. I have been fighting a battle most of my life in some form to fix and control the outcome of so many situations so that everyone is happy happy happy all the time and nothing upsetting ever happens. To anyone. Ever. Not only would I have a plan B, but a plan C, D, E, etc etc. Exhausting.
Only until I threw my hands up in submission and uttered "Ok world, hit me with your best shot." was I able to see that whatever that shot is, things usually work themselves out. Magically, all the boogiemen dissapeared.
I won't lie to you or myself and say that I am "cured" of overthinking and worrying, but I am happy to say that for the first time in my life, I can honestly say "I'm taking things one day at a time", and it sounds convincing and hopeful to my own ears.
Hi! I'm Chris, an empty nester living in Montreal and making the most of this stage in my life. I love cooking for friends and family, DIY projects, decorating and writing.